To Leave My Home

The suicidal notions from the man that cannot leave
Anxiety and crisis are not far from his sleeve
I clung to you hoping that perhaps we both might drown
Is there any thinking that the bad guy has left town?

If I should dig much deeper it gets scary what I find
I ain’t no restitution for the vanquished or the blind
How can I deliberate where I maybe got it wrong
Why do I hit crisis when I try and leave my home?

Me and my home, we both try so hard
I’ve sometimes rejected but often I’m tired
I often try and find a no-go zone…
So why do I want to leave my home?
Me and my thinking I stare at going out
I hear all the birds I don’t want any doubt
Why do I whisper when I’m screaming to shout…
I want an answer to just leave my home.

The suicidal notions are never far away
But I know I will keep the fight I’ll maybe stay as grey
I need to try and leave my home at least for say an hour
I have to gain that confidence that holding on to power.